Yes its really happened. Kim Jong Un met secretly with Donald Trump at Trumps newest hotel in Upper Ubangher. The hotel had to be secured by Kim’s men for 3 days in advance of the secret meeting of baby titans. Trump initially said his men be the last to sweep for bugs. Jong Un refused and said, ” Rets go.” The two agreed to have a pissing contest instead to see who’s team would be last. Kim won. “Big stream,” he boasted.
Yakkinback .com was there and this is the report.
Kim asked for tea. He was given a cupful by an aide. Trump asked what kind of tea it was. Translator said “Atomic.” All Kim’s men laughed. “Why is that funny” said Trump. “Made from dead uncle” and all Kim’s men laughed.
Trump said he liked Kim’s haircut, “Very unique.” “Only one in world, for now” Kim replied. Kim asked “You hair real?” “Look like, how you say?, bad combover.” Trump insisted it was real. Kim wanted a souvenir piece. A Trump aide cut a piece and presented it in a gold Mar-a Lago box.
Kim whispered to aides and translator said, “Ret’s talk.”
“OK” Kim said, “I have biggest bomb.” Trump stared blankly then offered, “We all know I have biggest bomb.” Aides quickly gathered for both sides.
Trump said “let’s change the subject, let’s talk about my big election”
Kim’s translator said,” he wants to talk about his big erection.” Everyone laughed. Kim said “I saw it during the pissing contest, no big. Small weenie.” Everyone laughed.
Trump said “no I want to talk about how I won election.” Kim translator said “ok you want to talk about Russia.” No no I want to talk about me.” “Ret’s eat first”
They went to Trump’s gold Savage dining room. Elephant heads and endangered birds and animals were mounted on the wall, “Don’t believe in endangered species,” Trump proclaimed.
Kim’s replied “like Americans.” All Kim’s men laughed.
The men were served endangered tortoise soup.” Kim wants “flied lice.” Trump asked an aide ‘Is that possible?, can you fry lice? Finally they got it right and Kim was served fried rice, but they inadvertently put Japanese soy sauce on it. Kim was furious and threatened to bomb Japan. Trumps aides gathered quickly and offered “Korean soup, a speciality in Seoul.” Kim went crazy and started thrashing around with his sword. Aides admitted their mistake and realized Seoul was in South Korea. Trump demanded they offer him something from North Korea. Aides informed Trump they no longer grow their own food as it comes from China. “Well get him some take out”
Kim ate five plates and Trump four. “Win again” said Jong Un.
Trump asked Kim what he wanted for not making nuclear bomb. All aides gathered and one approached Trump and whispered in his ear. “Is he fucking crazy? my daughter is a married women.” Kim aides gathered yet again. One approached and whispered. Trump demurred, and offered, “very unusual request, but let me think it over.” The baby titans agreed to meet gain after Trump got back to him.
On the Airforce One returning home, Trump leaned over to Melania and asked ” Ever been to Pyongyang?”